Friday, January 28, 2011

wanting him to be my everything



so recently ive kinda been distant from everyone and everything...ive realized im hardly on my facebook anymore...and i have not talked to my friends as often as i used to...ive kinda pushed everyone away...

at church ive not been able to sit down inside and just listen and be there...i end up leaving to sit outside and kinda be alone...its like im at church but im not...lately ive gone through the motions of being there but not really fully aware of what is happening..if anyone asked me what was mass about or any of the readings i would look at them and not know what to say in reply...

im not at rcia anymore and i have not been reading my bible, going to adoration or anything...i need GOD in my life more than ever right now and for some reason i dont feel my faith like i used to...its like its drifint away...i need him to be my everything again...

"Lord I get so tired
Of the struggle within
I settle in complacency
And I;m weighed down in my sins

So lead me past emotion
'Cause they change with the wind
I want to be a true disciple
To daily choose your hand"

im tired of giving up on things i want to be whole again...my emotions have been really bad lately...ive cried for no reason at night when no one is around...idk why i cry or what im crying for...but i just cry...i really really want to be his disciple and lead people like i was led to him...i choose his hand to do his work and be the best person for him that i can be...

its been 2 years and 3 months since ive been back at church and ive done alot in that time...im hoping and praying that this is a lil bump im my journey with HIM that i will overcome and become closer to him and grow even more...

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful blog you have sweetie. Keep it up!
    God bless <3

    ReplyDelete